Because some people are much too busy thinking
about our future. They’ve forgotten to think about theirs.
We, the crypto currency community, have
made it our mission to help one altruistic yet
self-neglectful genius at a time.
We’re talking about Vitalik Buterin!
Sure, he’s one cool dude.
ICO HAS ENDED
He’s a bona fide genius
Wikipedia says he was placed
in a class for gifted students
early in his life and could add
three-digit numbers in his
head faster than his
classmates.
He co-founded
Bitcoin Magazine
Which has been praised as the
original serious publication
about crypto currency. A print
edition was even sold at
Barnes and Noble.
He invented Ethereum
Last and very much not least,
Vitalik not only co-founded
Ethereum, but it was, in fact,
all his idea. This makes
him a celebrity in the
crypto world books.
Unfortunately, success has made him so super busy,
he’s forgotten one very important person in his life — HIMSELF!
This is why we are here and we have the perfect plan for his rescue.
Healthy sleep
When was the last time
he had the recommended
hours of sleep or is he
always too busy for rest
and rejuvenation unlike
the rest of us?
Physical activity
Has he even heard about
getting exercise? Not
necessarily hitting the gym
(although that would be nice
and more on that later), but
even a brisk walk outside
occasionally can be good for
the heart. Maybe participate
in a sport?
Healthy Diet & Nutrition
When was the last time
Vitalik thought about his
eating habits? Does he
even still eat?
Frankly, looking at his pictures, we are very concerned about Vitalik’s health and well-being. If he’s not going to do something about it, then we intend to take action and get our crypto idol, Vitalik Buterin, into shape! After all, we want the world and future generations not only to remember him as the awesome developer who contributed so much to the field of crypto currency and changed our future, but we also want him to be recognized for using some of that dedication and enthusiasm he is so famous for to change his own life.
Let’s get Vitalik (who’s only 23 years young, by the way, though he may not look it – see pics above) motivated to get into shape. To do that, our community is launching its very own Initial Coin Offering (ICO) to raise funds to motivate Vitalik to get himself to the gym as soon as possible. Although we know he really doesn’t need us to do this, maybe our community showing that we care is that all-important tipping point that will transform his life as much as his father introducing him to bitcoin when Vitalik was a teen transformed his life.
Funds raised in this ICO will support our crypto community’s Game Plan every step of the way for Vitalik to become the poster boy for geniuses who can have it all — success and great health!
Vitalik will not only reduce the health risks, such as heart disease, caused by his current neglectful lifestyle but working out regularly will also help him sleep better (we assume he lacks for this too), give him more energy (the decaffeinated, all-natural variety), and increase his self-confidence. The latter benefit might even benefit Vitalik’s social life i.e. more dates.
For someone like Vitalik Buterin who might have never hit the gym or even played a sport (does he look like he has?), a coach, otherwise known by the trendier title “personal trainer,” will be indispensable in motivating him and more.
We’ve already mentioned our concerns about Vitalik’s possible lack of eating. We are hoping that when he does eat, he chooses to eat something healthy. However, since it does not look like he does, some of our ICO will go to help Vitalik embrace better nutrition.
A gym membership, a personal trainer, and a dietitian? This ICO seems to be adding up but remember it is for a worthy cause. We will now “seal the deal” by offering Vitalik Buterin some additional incentives that might inspire him to take our mission to see him embrace a healthy lifestyle more seriously.
Vitalik will be able to get a gym membership to any gym he wants for several years. However, this won’t be enough to hire him a personal trainer. This might result in Vitalik missing out on some of the benefits of a coach that we described above like motivating him to stick to the regimen by keeping Vitalik accountable. Without a trainer, he might actually hurt himself using some of the equipment. Furthermore, we can’t offer him a dietician to get him to eat healthier. Ouch!
We can now also provide Vitalik with a head start on nutrition and buy him the proper workout clothes. Good going!
At this level, Vitalik can finally consult with a personal trainer at least to start him off on his exercise program. He should also be able to work with a coach semi-regularly. Vitalik can also have some massage therapy to help ease him physically through his strenuous first months at the gym. Cheers for at least getting him the help he needs even a little!
Vitalik can experience three years of gym membership, personal trainer (three times a week), nutritional needs, massage therapy, and more. Everything he requires to get healthy and fit without interruption. Go, Vitalik, you can do it!
Everything at D-level but for ten years straight. Vitalik might become so grateful the crypto community cared enough to see to his health, it will motivate him to get such amazing results he can compete in world championships for fitness and eventually be named Mr. Olympia one day. A formerly unhealthy genius can dream, can’t he? THANK YOU, community!
Vitalik will be able to get a gym membership to any gym he wants for several years. However, this won’t be enough to hire him a personal trainer. This might result in Vitalik missing out on some of the benefits of a coach we described above like motivating him to stick to the regimen by keeping Vitalik accountable. Without a trainer, he might actually hurt himself using some of the equipment. Furthermore, we can’t offer him a dietician to get him to eat healthier. Ouch!
We can now also provide Vitalik with a head start on nutrition and buy him the proper workout clothes. Good going!
At this level, Vitalik can finally consult with a personal trainer at least to start him off on his exercise program. He should also be able to work with a coach semi-regularly. Vitalik can also have some massage therapy to help ease him physically through his strenuous first months at the gym. Cheers for at least getting him the help he needs even a little!
Vitalik can experience three years of gym membership, personal trainer (three times a week), nutritional needs, massage therapy, and more. Everything he requires to get healthy and fit without interruption. Go, Vitalik, you can do it!
Everything at D-level but for ten years straight. Vitalik might become so grateful the crypto community cared enough to see to his health, it will motivate him to get such amazing results he can compete in world championships for fitness and eventually be named Mr. Olympia one day. A formerly unhealthy genius can dream, can’t he? THANK YOU, community!
Have you informed Vitalik that you are doing this on his behalf?
No, this ICO is intended to be a surprise from crypto community which genuinely wants him to be healthier (something everyone can always put extra effort into). We are confident our beneficiary, Vitalik, will appreciate the good humor and good spirit in which this campaign is intended. You can see our disclaimer below for more on our overall goal.
But Vitalik might turn your offer down. What will you do then?
Yes, he might not take us seriously right now, but it does not change in any way the sincerity of our efforts. Therefore, we will make our offer free from a deadline. He can take us up on our offer to fund his lifestyle change at any time. Namely, he has a lifetime to get into shape with our help.
Why can’t you just make this offer to someone who will more likely accept it?
We feel Vitalik Buterin is the perfect beneficiary so we are only doing this campaign on his behalf and no one else’s.
This is kind of like a Kickstarter campaign so what do I get in return for buying tokens like you’re asking?
You will get the positive feeling of helping someone. Yeah, cheesy, but we are helping Vitalik, a man who is just in his early twenties but has already done so much for the world’s future. Subsequently, making sure he chooses to live and stay healthy is also an investment in our own future. Yes, that includes yours, of course.
Vitalik is certain to bring us bigger and better ideas in the future as he has already done. Armed with more energy and vitality as we have considered above, there’s no telling what awesome things are in store for him and for us.
No, there most likely won’t be a direct financial reward for this even if Vitalik becomes a professional bodybuilder or fitness model and earns a lot more money. There’s a popular saying, “For it is in giving that we receive.”
Will these tokens be sold on the exchanges?
Yes, our plan is to add our tokens to multiple exchanges due to the limited amount available. As a result, in the future, anyone interested in supporting our campaign for Vitalik’s good health can get them easily.
Considering the volatile nature of the crypto market, I’m not sure how you plan to fund Vitalik’s healthy lifestyle long-term?
We have considered all the possibilities and plan to reinvest these funds into a variety of altcoins which will protect the value gathered during the ICO period.
How will you monitor and guide how Vitalik uses the funds from your ICO?
As we’ve mentioned, should Vitalik take us up on this offer, he is free to choose the gym, trainer, and any activity he needs to meet his goal to get into shape. We’ve read that people are most likely to stick to a sport or regimen if they genuinely enjoy it. Therefore, we will not dictate or interfere. Our only rule is that he cannot spend more than 4,000 USD per month from this fund.
Will i be able to make profit participating in this ICO?
The tokens that you will get by investing in this ICO are not used for solving any current techincal issues. It is more like a collectible and therefore there isn't necessarily a guaranteed return on investment.
Are you planning to use all the funds collected for Vitalik's transforation program?
90% of the funds will be used to help Vitalik become a better person while the remaining 10% will be used to cover all the development costs.
I have a question, how can I contact you?
Feel free to send us a message - [email protected]
You can also contact us on one of the social networks linked in the footer.
Is this a joke?
No, this is 100% serious.
